You’re born into your family, you’re forced to get along with your colleagues, but you choose your friends. Sometimes friendships need to be evaluated to determine if they still serve their purpose. Friendship is camaraderie. Your friends should respect your values, be honest with you when you call on their advice and love you through your faults. There are times when friends grow apart or come to a fork in the road that defines where their friendship will go. It is at these times that some relationships take an odd course and the partnership turns into a power struggle that defies the boundaries of trust, loyalty and respect. When these times occur, we can sometimes confuse true friendship and the overwhelming desire to maintain something that is merely safe in its longevity. In short, friendship is not defined by time or our shared history. Friendship is defined by our ability to share our lives with like souls. Recognize the difference between your acquaintances and your friends. Most importantly, know when the actions of your “friends” speak to the quality of your relationship. Have you had an instance when the actions of a “friend” have made you call to question your relationship? Did you determine that you wanted to continue this relationship or did you terminate the friendship?
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As a matter of fact I did. This September makes two years since I terminated a friendship of over 22 years. My best friend Bobby meant the world to me. We did everything together. He knew my dreams, my disappointments, etc. When we were young - teens, early twenties maybe - we had a small falling out over boyz. All to say that twenty years later, he harbored an ill will toward me that would not go away. He would make disparaging remarks and for years I ignored it all. Then I had to accept that I may have been his friend, but he was not mine. Today I'm better for it.
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